Natalie Powell is used to slamming opponents into the ground, but the Welsh judo star admits it was a personal battle over her own identity that left her properly floored.
The Commonwealth champion of 2014 will finally get a chance to defend her title in Birmingham this month, but the absence of her sport from the Gold Coast Games four years ago was nothing compared to the frustration going on in her personal life.
One of Team Wales’ most successful and experienced athletes, Powell came out as gay in 2017 after what she describes as “six years of pain.”
Powell was ranked world No.1 in 2017 – the first UK judoka to reach that pinnacle after the introduction of an official ranking list.
But the strain of competing while not being true to herself and those around her proved intolerable.
“It was a year after the Rio Olympics, in 2017, that I broke down,” says Natalie, who was based in Birmingham at the time at the British Judo Centre of Excellence.
“I went to the Worlds, got a bronze medal, which was my best performance, and soon after got to number one in the world.
“I was also pushing myself and saying, 'if I get through the judo. I'll be fine.'
“I was living with one of the girls on the team in Walsall then and I was crying, uncontrollably. I told her and once I did that things started to improve.
“Within six months I was like another person. It was just a weight off my shoulders.
“I was comfortable in myself and couldn't believe what I'd put myself through. But I think it's just culture and what people see as social norms when you're growing up.”
Natalie says she always felt confident that her family and friends would be supportive of her decision to come out.
But even with that reassurance in her mind, she still found taking the step a daunting experience.
